Big Time Ninja
by willoffire123
Summary: The boys finally escaped the confines of Bel-Air, only to return to the Palm Woods, their home, but a nest of paparazzi, and crazed fans. To make up for the lost protection of a maximum-security mansion in Bel-Air, Griffin 'hires' a replacement. Big Time Rush, say hello to Sakura Haruno, your new bodyguard.
1. Enter, Sakura Haruno!

**Willoffire123: What can I say? I'm being lazy with my other two unfinished fics, and I need to get my latest guilty pleasure (Big Time Rush) on page. **

**Sakura: Well it's about time.**

**Willoffire123: …For?**

**Sakura: That we're in one of your fics. We're popular enough to be in thousands of other fics you know.**

**Willoffire123: Well someone's got a high opinion of herself. Disclaimer please!**

**Sakura: Meh, Willoffire123 doesn't own Naruto.**

**Kendall: Or Big Time Rush.**

**Willoffire123: Ahem, yes, well, thank you. Anyone remember my two-month hiatus last summer? Well, I'm going back to camp in three weeks, so that hiatus is coming back. **

**Zoro: Not like it matters anyway; you haven't updated our story in four months.**

**Willoffire123: Hehe, Zoro go away! You don't belong in this dimension.**

**Zoro: Too late, I'm stuck.**

**Willoffire123: I hate my life. I've also decided that I'm going to try writing in third person for this fic. If it doesn't work the way I want it to, I might switch to first person mid-fic, so don't get confused. On with the chapter!**

* * *

Kendall

"Freedom never felt so great," said Carlos, holding his arms out and spinning in circles down the hall of Roque Records.

"Dude, you've never been enslaved or imprisoned before," Logan pointed out.

"Yes we have! Where did we just escape from?" James reminded him. Of course, they'd just left Bel-Air, the world's swankiest, and most prison-like neighborhood.

"You have to admit, the house was pretty cool," said Kendall, slinging one arm over James' shoulder, the other over Carlos' shoulder.

"But it stopped there," said James, cringing at the memory of the tiger.

"Anyway, remind me why we're here on a Sunday?" asked Logan, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"And at 10AM?" said James. "My Beauty Sleep requirements shrink no smaller than 9 hours, and 8 on tour."

"Dunno, blame Gustavo," said Kendall once they'd reached the black door of Gustavo Roque's office.

"Dogs!" barked Gustavo from the other side of the door, and making Carlos jump backwards onto Logan's toes.

"Ow," Logan groaned, hopping from one foot to the other while Carlos apologized profusely.

Kendal yanked the door open. "What?"

Normally the guys were used to weird things going on in Roque Records, but when Kendall yanked the door open, and found Kelly flanking Gustavo's desk, and a strange girl with bubblegum pink hair flanking the other side of the desk, Kendall knew he'd hit the jackpot.

"Who's the pretty girl?" Carlos asked innocently.

"Your new bodyguard," said Gustavo. "I lost Freight Train somewhere in Moscow on the tour, and since Bel-Air didn't work out…"

The guys chuckled nervously.

"Griffin hired you a new bodyguard. She stays with you, Mama Knight, and Katie at all times," Gustavo finished smugly.

Kendall observed the girl. This girl, who was about the same height as Carlos, was studying the four of them so intently that Kendall fully expected her to shoot lasers out of her jade green eyes, or something.

"Does this girl have a name?" asked Kendall, directing his question at the girl.

The girl finished her staring and smiled sweetly. "My name is Sakura Haruno; it's very nice to meet you, Big Time Crush."

"Big Time Rush," Kelly corrected her.

"Oops," giggled Sakura. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Are you from Japan?" asked James.

"How do you know English?" asked Kendall.

"Is that your REAL hair color?" asked Carlos.

For one, fleeting moment, Sakura's face darkened in annoyance. "Yes, because I just do, and yes, this is my real hair color."

"I think the important question here is why are you here in the states?" asked Logan. "You're how old, 16?"

"17," said Sakura, leaning against Gustavo's desk.

"Then you're our age. Shouldn't you be in school back in Japan?" Logan finished.

"I was on vacation in DC when Griffin's goons kidnapped me," she said blandly.

The boys turned on Gustavo.

"Gustavo, kidnapping's against the law," Logan said angrily.

"Yeah, she needs to go home," said Kendall.

Gustavo opened his mouth to shout, but Sakura beat him to the punch.

"I'm kinda stuck here for now," she said. "My friends already left. Until I can figure out a way home, I will survive off this job."

Before Kendall could argue back, Sakura continued. "Plus, aren't you guys really famous? You need some sort of protection. So, that's my job," she said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Before Gustavo could speak, he was interrupted again; this time by Kendall.

"What's with the purple diamond on your forehead?" he asked.

Sakura grinned. "Tattoo, any more questions? Nope? Good, let's go."

"Be back tomorrow after school for your photo shoot with Pop Tiger," Gustavo bellowed after the departing teens.

* * *

"We're home!" James announced, making a bee-line for the kitchen. "Who wants a sandwich?"

"Who else lives here?" asked Sakura, rifling through the fridge before fixing her own sandwich.

"Just my mom and my little sister," said Kendall. "That's not important right now. We'd like to learn more about _you_. Tell us about yourself."

"Can you fight crime?" asked Carlos suspiciously.

"Can you fight at all?" asked James, equally suspicious.

"I sure as hell can fight better than the four of you combined," she said, swallowing her bite of ham and cheese. "Otherwise, why would you need a bodyguard?"

"She's got a point dude," said Logan, gripping James by the arm.

"Relax Loges, I would never hit a girl," said James, winking at Sakura.

She rolled her eyes. "Someday, once I'm out of this job, I'll wipe that smirk off your face when I kick your ass all the way down to Roque Records."

"Is that a challenge?" asked Kendall, popping up next to James.

"It is," said Sakura, placing herself within an inch of Kendall's pointed nose.

"Challenge accepted," said all four of the guys at once, diving onto the orange couch.

"Come on Sakura," said Carlos, patting the seat next to him. "Halo 3 marathon is how we do it here in LA."

*Of course she's never gonna accept,* thought Kendall. *She doesn't look like a gamer; girls rarely are.*

Without even flinching, Sakura fell on the couch next to Carlos, and grabbed the 5th controller. "You're on, pretty boys."

* * *

**Willoffire123:** **This is a bad idea. This is a very bad idea. But I'm doing it anyway. Why am I doing it anyway?**

**Zoro: Because you're an idiot.**

**Willoffire123: You shut up. You're not even supposed to be here.**

**Kendall: Sakura's got pink hair, that guy has green hair, what's next? A weirdo with blue hair?**

**Willoffire123: Kendall, you jinxed it.**

**Black Star: Until next time!**

**Willoffire123: See? You jinxed it.**


	2. Crane Attack

**Willoffire123: And we're back!**

**Sakura: In a desperate attempt to get into the plot before the author loses interest in this, and starts yet another story.**

**Willoffire123: I resent that.**

**Kendall: Willoffire123-**

**Zoro: Back off, fuzzy eyebrows man. This is my job. Willoffire123 doesn't own One Piece.**

**Willoffire123: Zoro?**

**Zoro: What?**

**Willoffire123: Wrong fandom.**

**Zoro: Your point?**

**Kendall: Willoffire123 doesn't own Naruto or Big Time Rush. What's his problem?**

**Willoffire123: Besides his lack of smarts? I brainwashed him by holding him hostage in his own fandom known as One Piece. **

**Kendall: Should I be scared?**

**Zoro: Very.**

**Kendall: You're one to talk. You have green hair.**

**Zoro: YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT WITH ME KID? I'LL KILL YOU!**

**Willoffire123: Kendall, a word of advice. Now would be a good moment to run away as fast as you can. In case you didn't notice already, Zoro has three swords. He is very good at using them.**

**Sakura: On with the chapter!**

**Kendall: Someone help me!**

**Sakura: NO! On with the chapter!**

**Willoffire123: WAIT A SECOND! Don't be so hasty Sakura. I have an announcement. I'm going to alternate between third and first person between chapters, or when the person's point of view changes (i.e.: Kendall to Katie). When I do it all depends on what I feel like doing.**

**Sakura: Now?**

**Willoffire123: Yes.**

**Sakura: On with the chapter!**

* * *

Katie

Katie shuffled sleepily out of her room to the kitchen.

*The guys are never awake this early,* she thought, scratching her head. She grinned evilly. *Then I can eat all the bacon!*

However, when she opened the fridge, she received an unexpected shock when Kendall called "Mornin' Baby Sis," from the couch.

"Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan awake at 11AM? What happened? Did you eat candy before bed again?" she scolded.

"No," James said defensively.

"You're Katie?" asked a strange girl with pink hair, getting up from her seat next to Carlos.

"Yup, and you're the reason they're up at 11AM," Katie said, shutting the fridge.

"I guess so," she said with a bow. "My name is Sakura Haruno. I'm your new bodyguard."

"Oh," said Katie, the light bulb going off.

"And your new roommate," said Kendall while dropping a grenade on Carlos' head.

"Now c'mon Sakura," Carlos whined. "I can't fight these guys off forever."

"Oh no," said Katie, grabbing Sakura by the arm. "I'm showing Sakura around the Palm Woods, then having a long discussion about boys," she said with a grin.

"Oh, okay," said Sakura, tossing her controller.

"Hey!" James called indignantly.  
"You'll be fine," said Sakura, already out the door. "Just have Logan defect to Carlos' team. The numbers were already odd with me in the mix, so now it evens out."

* * *

Kendall

"She's got a point," said Logan once the door had slammed shut.

"But seriously, she's hiding something," I said.

"She's our bodyguard," said James, mowing down Logan's troops with his tank. "She wouldn't be a good bodyguard if she wasn't holding a few tricks up her sleeve."

"But she wasn't wearing sleeves," said Carlos dashing across the fort boundaries with our flag. "That's game."

"Let's go find them," I said, standing up. "We still have to introduce Sakura to Camille and the others."

"What about Halo 3?" James pouted.

"It can wait until the others are back," said Logan. "I thought you'd be happy that Sakura stopped playing, dude, she was kicking your butt."

"She was not," James said hotly, jogging after our departing backs.

We didn't have to search very far for Katie and Sakura, as the girls in question were distracted in their tour by the pool.

Katie decided that Sakura needed to learn how to play poker, and was allowing the girl to watch over her shoulder as she played her fifty-billionth poker game against the elderly of the Palm Woods.

"Katie! Sakura!" I called, striding towards the Poker game, completely unaware of anything else going on at the pool.

"Kendall, look out!" Katie warned. I whipped around just in time for a mini metallic crane to smack me in the chest, sending me flying across the pool. I hit something hard, pain exploding like firecrackers in my head, and everything went black.

* * *

James

Everyone saw Kendall hit the wall with a loud 'thud!' in slow motion, but Sakura and James were the only ones taking action. Sakura caught the now unconscious Kendall and laid him out on a lounge chair. James, meanwhile, was throwing things at Buddha Bob, the operator of the crane not paying the slightest attention to the fact that he accidentally hit Kendall, attempting to get Buddha Bob to stop the crane.

"Stay back!" ordered Logan. "Give him some air."

"Logan, Carlos, come with me," said Sakura, easily scooping Kendall into her arms. "Someone grab James on the way back upstairs."

"But he needs an ambulance," said Carlos, phone in hand.

"That won't be necessary," said Sakura, nudging James before he threw a lounge chair at Buddha Bob. "I'm a trained medic, I will take care of everything."

After barging past everyone in their way, the four teens, plus Katie and an unconscious Kendall reached 2J.

"Katie, Carlos and James wait here," said Sakura, slipping into the room Kendall and James shared. "Logan, I hear you're an aspiring doctor. Come with me."

"We need a table," Sakura added from behind the door.

"Then we can go in that room, and you come out here in the dining room," said Katie, yanking the door open.

Out came Sakura and Logan, Kendall cradled in Sakura's arms, blood trickling down the corner of his mouth. Logan laid a thin, white sheet over the bare table while Sakura shooed the other three into James and Kendall's room.

"Don't come in until we open the door," she said, grabbing her large, black bag and shutting the door.

"Well then," said James, crossing his arms and plopping down on his bed.

Carlos sank down into Kendall's bed, his face in his hands. "Why does Buddha Bob have a crane anyway?" he asked through his hands.

"Probably for moving big, heavy objects," said Katie, hugging Kendall's pillow.

"Is Kendall gonna be okay?" asked Carlos.

"There was blood coming out of his mouth; even I know that's really bad," said James.

"But is Kendall gonna be okay," Carlos repeated.

Nobody knew the answer.

"It's all up to Logan and Sakura now," said Katie, burying her face in Kendall's pillow. The pillow would have to do until she could bury her face in her real big brother's chest. "All we can do is wait."

* * *

Logan

At record speed, Sakura lined the contents of her bag along the counter.

"Sakura, you have a photographic memory, right?" asked Logan, placing one hand directly above Kendall's mouth. Though it was shallow, he was thankfully still breathing.

"Well, yeah," she said, rinsing her hands in the sink before slipping on a pair of white gloves. "Can you sit him up?"

Logan slipped one hand gently under Kendall's back, the other under his head, and leveled him in front of Sakura, holding his unconscious form upright. Sakura slowly lifted his shirt off over his head, only earning a slight frown from a sleeping Kendall, and ran her hands down his chest.

"Thank God he's only broken two ribs," she said. "But it's as I feared, the 3rd one's only slightly fractured, but it's poking dangerously close to one of his lungs. We can figure out the rest later, but for now, we need to fix that third rib. Hand me the anesthetic, Logan."

"What I was saying before," said Logan, handing her the syringe, and an oxygen tank. "If you've got a photographic memory, save us some time on checking his head by describing how exactly Kendall hit the wall."

Sakura strapped the oxygen mask over Kendall's face. "His back hit first, then his head followed. That most likely saved him from permanent brain damage, but he'll definitely have at least a very severe concussion."

"Most likely?" asked Logan, voice rising. "Most likely isn't good enough."

Kendall groaned, earning Logan a severe 'Shush!' from Sakura.

"Kendall?" Sakura whispered, wiping his chest down with a moist cloth.

"Sakura," he mumbled, his frown deepening.

Logan ran his fingers through Kendall's hair, brushing his bangs off his forehead. "We're here buddy," he whispered. "Where does it hurt?"

"Chest," he grunted. "Head is burning."

"Can you see?" asked Sakura, filling the syringe with the clear liquid that would make Kendall forget about the pain again.

With much effort, Kendall opened his eyes by a sliver, unwilling to let any light in.

"It's hazy," he muttered. "It hurts to open my eyes."

"99% certain it's just a concussion," Sakura said to Logan. "We'll take him to the hospital later to get a head scan."

"Sakura?" Kendall asked, attempting to curl up into a ball. "It hurts."

Sakura gently pushed him back into the first position before his rib could puncture his lung.

"I know man, I know," she crooned. "We're here to make it stop hurting. Now then, this will only pinch for a moment." She stuck the needle into a point on Kendall's neck and pushed the top, the knockout fluid draining into his neck.

"When you wake up, we'll explain everything, ok buddy?" Logan breathed in Kendall's ear. "Carlos, James and Katie will be there too. And I'll be right here the whole time."

"Promise?" asked Kendall sleepily.

"Promise," said Logan.

"He's out," said Sakura. "The goal of this operation is to move his rib back into place." She handed Logan the scalpel. "Let's get started."

Logan blinked. "You want ME to make the incision? I can't do that; I'm not trained enough. I could end up killing one of my best friends by accident."

"Relax Logan, I didn't mean for you to make the incision," said Sakura. "I just want you to hold it for a moment."

Logan went very red. "Oh, sorry."

Sakura chuckled. "It's okay. Besides, I have a much more important job for you. I need you to keep a big secret."

"Sure," Logan said slowly. "We kinda figured you were hiding something."

"What I'm about to do defies your laws of physics," she said, taking a step away from the operating table. "Don't make a noise." She did something weird with her hands and said "Shadow Clone Jutsu." Two identical Sakuras poofed into existence while the real Sakura slapped a hand over Logan's mouth, squelching a scream.

"Not a sound," Sakura hissed, indicating the door where there were most likely three eavesdroppers with their ears pressed to the door. "I need my clones because we can't perform the operation with just the two of us. I'm going to tell you what you just told Kendall: I will explain everything after the operation."

While Sakura spoke one of her clones made the incision across Kendall's bare chest.

Logan rolled up his sleeves. "Fine, fine. Kendall's all that matters right now anyway."

Sakura smirked. "Great! Let's get started then, shall we?"

* * *

**Willoffire123: Yay!**

**Kendall: What do you mean yay? You tried to kill me! Do you always try to kill one of your characters in stories?**

**Luffy: Yes**

**Zoro: Yes**

**Death the Kid: Yes**

**Terry McGinnis: Yes**

**Willoffire123: And you're next!**

**Sakura: Relax; you're fine. I save you, right? Right?**

**Willoffire123: You'll just have to figure out that in the next chapter. This next chapter will most likely be the last chapter I post for 6 weeks while I am at camp (you know, no electronics. I did the same thing last year). But I don't leave for camp for another two weeks because I am in FRANCE. Boy are there things I can tell you about the French, starting with how ridiculously fast they drive. But that's not the point, I'll update hopefully within the next two weeks, but I've got two other unfinished stories, one of which I haven't updated in 4 months (blushes shame-facedly).**

**Sakura: STOP TALKING! Until next time!**

**Willoffire123: Au-revoir mes amis!**


	3. Why Kendall?

**Kendall: Where'd everyone go?**

**Willoffire123: You're the one who's unconscious dude. You're dreaming. Now do the disclaimer and the announcement. **

**Kendall: Willoffire123 doesn't own Big Time Rush or Naruto. Willoffire123 recently received an interesting review, and needs your help. Do you think that we should meet anyone else from the Naruto universe? Or should it stick to mainly just Sakura until the end?**

**Willoffire123: Let me know what you think is going to happen in a review. Other than that, Kendall gets to go back to lala land while I say on with the chapter!**

**Kendall: zzzzzzzzzzz**

* * *

Kendall

Kendall woke to the sound of hushed voices. White-hot knives were still twisting their blades around his skull, but the pain in his chest had somewhat subsided into a bearable throb. He could feel a gentle light against his eyelids, but he decided to let his ears wander before either alerting the hushed voices to his presence, or figuring out how badly opening his eyes would jar his aching head.

"Operation was a great success," said one of the voices, probably Sakura.

"And we didn't even have to take him to the hospital," said another voice. This one was definitely Logan.

"Mama Knight's gonna freak out when she gets home," said the voice of Carlos.

"She's already come by. She left to hunt Bitters down for allowing Buddha Bob to use a crane in a highly populated area," said the voice of Katie.

"And you didn't go with her?" asked another voice. Kendall was pretty sure it was James.

"You kidding? I wanna be here when he wakes up just as much as you do," said Katie.

"He's already awake," declared Sakura. "Aren't you, Kendall?"

Kendall groaned in response. He still wasn't ready to open his eyes yet.

"It's okay buddy," said Logan. "You don't have to open your eyes yet if you don't want to."

"Where does it hurt?" asked Sakura.

"Head," Kendall whispered, the hushed voices still echoing around his aching head. Kendall placed a bandaged hand across his throbbing chest, trying to calm the dull pain. The chest he could deal with without anyone noticing, but the head was too much. He felt something push its way into the crook of his arm.

"Missed you, big brother," said Katie, snuggling down next to Kendall.

"But I never went anywhere," Kendall whispered, wrapping his arm around Katie's tiny shoulders.

"You know what I mean," she said softly. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Seconded," said James.

"Thirded," said Carlos.

"That isn't even a real thing," said Logan.

"It is too!" said Carlos hotly, driving a white spike into Kendall's forehead, making him wince, unable to keep a little whimper from escaping his lips.

That shut Carlos up. Kendall felt something cool against his burning forehead.

"Get some rest, Kendall," Sakura said in a soothing voice. "We'll be right here when you wake again."

"I'd love to," Kendall said through gritted teeth, holding back a scream of pain. "But I really can't."

Sakura thought for a moment before saying "I think I've got just the thing."

Kendall could vaguely hear someone rummaging around somewhere for a moment before a set of strong hands gently pushed him into a sitting position.

Sakura waited for the nod from Kendall that said his world had stopped spinning, and she gently massaged his clenched fist open, placing something into his sweaty palm.

"It's one of my special, homemade pills," Sakura said softly. "This will let you have a painless sleep for at least the next hour."

"Take it bud," Logan said, rubbing Kendall's back. "I saw her operate on you; she knows what she's doing."

"Well," said Kendall hoarsely. "If you've saved my life once today, Sakura, I trust you entirely."

With that, Kendall swallowed the pill, greedily gulping down the cup of water Carlos held to his lips.

As Kendall had hoped, a wave of fatigue rolled over him, making him dizzy. Another set of hands helped him back down onto his bed, tucking in his sheets.

"Night, big brother," said Katie, snuggling down once more next to Kendall.

"Stay with me?" Kendall asked her sleepily.

"Forever and always," she answered. "Now go to sleep."

And go to sleep, he did.

* * *

Sakura

"Now that Kendall's safe, what are we gonna do about Gustavo? We took the day off from school, but he expects us to be at a photo-shoot in an hour," said James, shutting the door behind Kendall and Katie.

"I can disguise myself as Kendall," offered Sakura.

"Like that'll ever work," Carlos chuckled nervously. "What about telling Gustavo the truth about what happened?"

"That'll never work either," said James, looking at him like he was crazy.

"But we've got a big-" he stopped, realizing that Sakura was only slightly taller than him, the shortest of the group. "But we've got a scary bodyguard/doctor now!" Carlos protested.

"We're gonna keep trying, but that's a good backup," said Logan.

"I have something that can keep Kendall on his feet long enough to do the photo shoot," said Sakura. "But this is only an emergency plan, as his body really can't handle too much medication at once, and he's already drugged up as it is."

"I don't like the sound of that," said James. "Anything that could possibly hurt Kendall is out."  
"Well then don't make him go to the photo shoot!" said Sakura, finally at breaking point. Sakura took three, deep breaths, willing herself to not smash anything in the room.

"How about this," said Logan, putting a calming hand on Sakura's shoulder. "We take Kendall to the photo shoot. Gustavo sees that Kendall looks sickly and injured. He doesn't want a sickly, injured Kendall on the cover of Pop Tiger. He sends Kendall home and bing bang boom, we're good to go!"

"I like it," admitted Sakura. "I'll go with you of course, and I'll be there to take Kendall home if he makes you three stay to record or something."

"Then you should get going," said Katie from the doorway. Moments later, Kendall appeared next to her, his glazed eyes thankfully open.

"Kendall!" said James in surprise, causing Kendall to wince in pain.

"Sorry man," James whispered, putting a hand on Kendall's shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Been better," Kendall mumbled. "When do we leave?"

"Now," said Sakura, pushing everyone through the door. "Logan drives."

* * *

AT ROQUE RECORDS

Logan

"WHY ARE THE DOGS LATE?" came the bellowing voice of Gustavo from the depths of Roque Records the moment Logan opened the door.

'THEY'RE AT THE DOOR!" Sakura bellowed back while Logan covered Kendall's ears. "SO YOU CAN SHUT UP NOW!"

"Nicely done," said James, raising his fist for a fist bump. Sakura gave James a quizzical look, shrugged, and punched his fist.

"OW!" James cried, nursing his bruised knuckles.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that," said Sakura, scratching her head, embarrassed. "I can give you some cream for that once we get inside."

"Can we hurry up then?" asked Carlos, adjusting Kendall, who was leaning heavily on Carlos, so that he wouldn't slide onto the pavement. "Kendall's heavier than he looks."

"It's because he's so much taller than you," said Sakura. "Let James help Kendall instead."

"Come here, buddy," said James, slinging Kendall's arm over his shoulder, and marching inside.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" Gustavo roared once the gang reached the dance studio, the location of the photo shoot. A camera crew bustled around, setting up lights and other equipment. A green backdrop blocked out the red wall of the studio, the scene of the shoot.

Kendall whimpered and put his hands over his ears. "Gustavo, please stop it," he pleaded, eyes once again shut tight.

"Okay, you!" said Gustavo, pointing at Sakura. "Pinky, you're in charge of the dogs now. What's wrong with the K-dog?"

"Yeah," said Kelly, only much more concerned than Gustavo. "Are you okay Kendall? You don't look so good."

Sakura rubbed her hand in comforting circles on Kendall's back. "Accident at the Palm Woods involving a crane. Your 'K-dog's got three mending ribs and a severe concussion."

Gustavo's mouth dropped into a perfect 'O'.

"So…" said Logan anxiously. "Can Kendall go home and rest?"

"Yeah," said Carlos. "Cuz, uh, you don't want him to look all sick, and stuff in Pop Tiger."

Gustavo started to tremble, his face growing redder and redder.

Kelly put a hand out nervously, reaching for his shoulder. "Gustavo?"

Logan nudged Sakura. "If you don't have a pair of 100% sound proof ear plugs, I suggest getting Kendall out of here _now_."

Sakura didn't need telling twice. The moment she and Katie had ushered a dazed Kendall out of the room, Gustavo exploded.

"WHO'S THE IDIOT WHO LET KENDALL GET HIT BY A CRANE?" he demanded.

"Nobody, Kendall wasn't looking where he was going," said Logan, wincing at the loud noise.

At that moment, Katie came barreling back into the room.

"What's wrong, Katie?" asked Logan after seeing the distressed look on her face.

"Kendall's been kidnapped!" she burst. "Sakura's chasing down the van right now, but you have to help her!"  
"WHAT?" blurted everyone in the room.

"Logan! Plan! NOW!" demanded James.

"Okay, uh," said Logan, glancing around nervously. He'd never faired well under pressure. "Um, the photo shoot crew had to get here using some form of transportation right?"

"Van's parked out front," said a passing cameraman.

"EVERYONE INTO THE VAN!" said Gustavo, charging out the door.

"And follow Sakura!" added Logan.

The camera crew, Gustavo, Kelly and Katie piled into the van, filling it up to the brim with people.

"We'll follow behind you on foot," Logan promised Kelly. "Now go! Call me if you find Kendall or Sakura!"

"Are you sure…" Kelly started to ask, then felt the killing intent rolling off Logan, Carlos and James.

"Nobody messes with one of us and gets away with it," Carlos growled, making Kelly gape in surprise.

"GO!" Logan demanded once more, shutting the van door for Kelly.

The remaining BTR boys watched the van speed off down the street.

James spun around to face Logan. "Now what?"

"Scan the area for clues," said Logan, mind racing.

Carlos nudged the other two. "Guys?"

"What?" asked James. "We're kind of busy trying to find Kendall and Sakura, Carlitos."

Carlos pointed across the park. Approximately two-dozen men dressed in black jumpsuits and ski masks spilled out of an alley.

"Look who they're chasing," Carlos said excitedly. Sure enough, the death squad wannabes were chasing a girl with bright pink hair.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE!" Sakura wailed, running for her life. "HELP ME!"

Before anyone had a chance to blink, the goon squad had her surrounded in the center of the park: a wide clearing.

"Uh…" said all three boys from behind the safety of the park bench.

"We're singers," said James, putting his arms in front of his face for cover. "Not fighters."

Logan peeked out from behind the bench. Sakura looked scared and tired.

Sakura locked eyes with him. "Logan, help!"

Logan didn't know what to do. Of course, he would be no help in a fight. But they couldn't just leave a girl to the mercy of 24 very burly, very scary, likely armed men.

Oh, what to do?

Sakura's look of fear melted, as if she'd been straining to keep it there, into a look of annoyance. She looked pissed as hell.

"I hate this dimension," she grumbled, slapping on a pair of black gloves. "Must I really do everything myself?"

"Hey," grunted goon number one. "What are we standing around for? Get her!"

The goons charged as Sakura balled her right hand into a fist.

"Dude," Logan hissed to James. "WHAT is she doing?"

"Does it look like I know," James snapped, his eyes glued on the scene unfolding in front of them.

"JAAAHHHHH!" Sakura cried, and without warning, drove her fist into the ground.

'CCCRRRACK!'

That was the sound of the ground splitting beneath Sakura's fist. Some goons went flying into nearby trees and bushes, others were trapped in mini sinkholes in the starburst shaped crater Sakura created in the park.

* * *

James

"Oh would you stop gaping and come with me," Sakura snapped at James, Carlos and Logan, their mouths agape, eyes the size of doorknobs.

"O-okay," stuttered James, crawling out from behind the bench, the other following suit. James hadn't the faintest idea why Sakura suddenly had freaky gorilla strength, but he knew that at that moment, Sakura looked very beautiful, and very scary.

James was glad she was their bodyguard, not their enemy.

"Think boys," said Sakura. "How are we going to find Kendall?"

Everyone thought hard for a moment before James' light bulb went off.

"Maybe one of these cronies knows where Kendall is," he said, pulling the nearest one out of a bush by his feet, and slapping him awake.

Sakura smirked in proud satisfaction. "Right answer."

"Where is Kendall Knight being taken?" James demanded, holding a fist to the goon's face.

"I ain't talkin'" the goon said, and he spat in James' face.

"Oh that is it," James growled. "Carlos, you're up."

Carlos nodded grimly, and grabbed the crony by the pant leg.

"We'll make this quick," he promised, dragging him behind a tree.

3 MINUTES LATER

"They're in Hollywood Lot Eight," said Carlos finally, coming out from behind the tree.

"How do you know that?" asked Sakura, obviously impressed.

"I have my ways," Carlos said mischievously. "Now let's hurry!"

* * *

Kendall

Kendall woke yet again to a dim light. He didn't really mind the poor lighting though; his head ached so much.

Then he remembered what happened. The black van, the goons ripping him away from Sakura and Katie, hitting the pavement before being knocked unconscious.

"There's only so much head trauma one guy can take," he grumbled.

He paused to consider something. If he was being kidnapped, why did it feel like he wasn't sitting on the cold hard floor? He was lying down; that much he was certain. Also, he was lying on something soft, a blanket maybe? It was warm too, which soothed his nerves. Maybe these people didn't really want to hurt him.

_Then why did they kidnap you in the first place?_ Kendall's voice of reason told him.

Kendall attempted to sit up, but froze half way up, blinding pain catching him from his head down to his left shoulder. He must've landed on his shoulder; why else would it hurt so much? Maybe he dislocated it. Yeah, that sounded appropriate.

A pair of strong hands pushed him back against the soft surface he'd been lying on. Was it a bed?

"Relax, Kendall," the voice said in a soothing whisper. "I literally just set your dislocated shoulder. You need to rest."  
"Who are you?" Kendall croaked. "Where are we going?"

"That, Kendall Knight," said Sakura Haruno with an impish grin. "Is for me to know, and the other boys to find out."

* * *

**Sakura: Kendall, what did you do with Willoffire123?**

**Kendall: Nothing! She's still at camp, remember?**

**Willoffire123: No I'm not.**

**Sakura + Kendall: WHAT?**

**Kendall: But-But-But-But**

**Sakura: What happened to your six-week camp hiatus? It's only been three weeks!**

**Willoffire123: I fell off a horse-**

**Kendall: So? Get back on it!**

**Willoffire123:-and dislocated my elbow.**

**Sakura: ouch**

**Willoffire123: as a result, I was forced to return home four weeks early. The good news is you guys get a chapter out of it. The bad news is I've been robbed of my summer and the only place where I have real friends who won't drop me like a pin at a moment's notice.**

**Kendall: Aw, we still love you Will-**

**Willoffire123: Get away! Your love doesn't count. Just leave me with my wounded pride.**

**Sakura: On a happier note, until next time folks! Lets all hope our ill-fortuned author is in a better mood by the time chapter 4 comes out!**


	4. Truth Revealed

**Kendall: Willoffire123's still sore and depressed…**

**Sakura: So we're running the show for now. **

**Kendall: Kendall doesn't own BTR or Naruto.**

**Sakura: That doesn't sound right.**

**Kendall: Trust me, I'm pretty sure I don't own either show.  
Sakura: No you egghead! It's Willoffire123 doesn't own BTR or Naruto.**

**Kendall:…oh**

**Sakura: Anyway, on with the show!**

* * *

James

The boys and Sakura reached Hollywood Lot 8 to find it deserted.

"No sign of the Pop Tiger van," said Logan, biting his nails nervously.

"Then it's up to us," said Sakura, and she flung the door open, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Gah!" shrieked Carlos, jumping into James' arms.

"That is it," said James, voice an octave higher than normal. "What the hell is going on today? First the crane, then the kidnapping, now the freaky Godzilla strength infused bodyguard disappears."

"Can we panic now?" asked Carlos.

"No," said James. "We do the manly thing to do, and charge in to rescue the damsel in distress with the freaky powers, and Kendall."

"Oh, okay," said Carlos. "You can put me down now."

"That's a relief," said James, dropping Carlos into a heap on the ground.

"Okay, on the count of three," said Logan.

"Three!" cried Carlos.

"CHARGE!" cried James.

"YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS!" cried Logan.

With those odd battle cries, the three remaining boys charged into the multi-billion dollar production studio.

"Well," said James, whirling on the others. "It's just as deserted in here as it is out there."

"_Not so fast, Big Time Rush,"_ came a warped voice from what could only be the control room.

"Who's there?" James shouted lamely.

"What have you done with Kendall?" demanded Carlos.

"And Sakura," added James, as if Carlos had the indecency to forget her.

"Are they alright?" asked Logan anxiously.

"_You're friends are fine," _said the voice. _"The blonde one is resting. As for Sakura-'_

The lights went on all at once, illuminating a nearly empty Hollywood lot, complete with a sound booth. Sakura stood at the mic, grinning down at the boys.

"_Hey," _she said nonchalantly.

"Now you can panic," James told Carlos.

"Good to know," said Carlos, who then fainted in James' arms.

"Sakura, what are you doing up there?" demanded Logan. "How did you get up there? Have you found Kendall yet?"

"_Like I said before, Kendall's here," _she said, hardly able to suppress her glee. _"He's resting. Our staged kidnapping roughed him up a bit, but rest assured, it's nothing I couldn't fix."_

Silence filled the lot once more as James put two and two together.

Logan got there first.

"You kidnapped Kendall!" he said, pointing an accusing finger at the sound booth.

"_Guilty," _said Sakura. _"I staged the whole thing so I could glean just how well you boys react to these kinds of situations. As you become more and more famous, you will experience these situations more and more frequently. And you did a fine job of interrogation and clue gathering," _she said warmly. Her face fell into a look of suppressed anger. _"However, your combat skills will need some work."_

"So the whole thing was a set up?" asked James. His opinion of their new bodyguard had varied since he'd laid eyes on her. First she was hot, then she was mildly annoying, then she was beautiful, then scary, then absolutely terrifying. Now, she was the craziest chic he'd ever had the misfortune of knowing. Forget Camille, this girl was _insane_.

"_Yup," _said Sakura.

"And why did you choose to kidnap Kendall?" asked Logan as if he already knew the answer.

"_In his current condition, he couldn't possibly have done what you guys did today," _said Sakura sadly. _"Now then, agree that you'll cooperate with my self defense training program, and I'll let you up here to see Kendall."_

"We don't need convincing," said James. "How do we get up there?"

"_You're standing on it, Pretty Boy," _said Sakura, pushing a button on her dashboard.

A platform that the boys had unknowingly stood on raised itself up to the sound booth, an automated arm even opening the door for the two remaining BTR boys and an unconscious Carlos.

"Kendall!" cried both James and Logan. James set Carlos down against the wall before turning to Kendall.

He looked more or less the same as when they'd left him at Roque Records, only more peaceful. Also, one more difference marred his banged up body.

"What happened to his shoulder?" demanded Logan.

"Kendall put up a fight when we tried sedating him to get him in the van," Sakura said simply while checking over the prone form of Carlos. "He hit the pavement and dislocated his shoulder. I've set the shoulder, so there isn't any permanent damage, but he'll need physical therapy once this is all over."

"You're supposed to be our bodyguard," said Logan. "You hurt him."

"And yet, I fixed him up, good as new," said Sakura, unfazed by the accusation. "The bandages are only meant to prevent him from re-dislocating it."

"I think you owe us a full explanation," said James, kneeling next to Kendall.

"Very well then," said Sakura. "I am a Medical Ninja sent from the Land of Fire in Japan for an escort mission to the United States. My teammates and I finished the mission, but I became separated from them. Griffin's goons approached me, holding a cloth. While I beat the two approaching me to a bloody pulp, a third one approached me from behind and knocked me out. Griffin offered me a choice: protect you four, or be forcefully drafted into the U.S military."

"Normally I'd say LADY ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE?" said James. "But after everything we've seen today-"

"And the operation," Logan added. "She did this weird trick that she wouldn't explain to me."

Sakura sighed, fidgeting with her hands. An exact replica of Sakura poofed into existence next to her.

"You mean the Shadow Clone Jutsu?" both Sakuras asked innocently.

Carlos, newly revived by Sakura, promptly fainted again.

"You should get that checked out for him," said Sakura 1.

"It might be a medical condition," said Sakura 2.

"But Sakura," said Logan. "After all is said and done, don't you _want _to go home?"

"Yes," Sakura said truthfully. "My teammates will come and pick me up eventually. In the mean time, I will be your bodyguard/medic/self-defense teacher to prevent what happened to Kendall happening in real life."

"Does Kendall know anything about this?" asked James.

"Nope!" said Sakura cheerfully. "Well, not until now, anyway. He's been listening to this whole conversation, right Kendall?"

"Mm-hmmm," Kendall muttered. "Is it all true?"

"That's for you to decide," said Sakura. "The other three have already given their consent to self-defense lessons. I have something a little different planned for you, obviously because of your condition, but I need your agreement."

Kendall looked up at James. "What do you think?"

"Your asking _me_ for an opinion?" James asked incredulously. "Dude, your badly hurt. None of us will hold it against you if you say no."

Kendall frowned. "Don't let me stop you from learning how to handle yourselves." He turned to Sakura. "I'm in."

Sakura grinned. "Excellent. Now then, that Pop Tiger van's been driving in circles this whole time. We should probably show them we've 'found' Kendall."

* * *

**Willoffire123: Well I finished the chapter and I can't even upload it! There's no internet connection at the beach! What's up with that?  
Kendall: I don't know.**

**Zoro: What's an internet?**

**Kendall: Magic.**

**Zoro: Oh, okay.**

**Willoffire123: I guess we're all stuck here until I get internet connection. Until next time!**


End file.
